Narcissism
Narcissism is a challenging personality disorder to live with, as it can cause significant distress to both the affected individual and their loved ones. It is characterized by an inflated feeling of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
People with NPD
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may struggle to maintain healthy relationships due to their tendency towards arrogance, condescension, and entitlement. They may believe they are unique or special and that only high-status individuals can truly understand them. This can cause them to feel isolated, misunderstood, and frustrated. Individuals with NPD may also struggle to fully grasp the feelings and needs of others, which can lead to dismissiveness, criticism, or even cruelty. They may overestimate their abilities and accomplishments, leading to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.
Narcissists and Relationships
For most people, relationships are all about giving and taking without expecting anything in return. But for individuals with NPD, relationships tend to be more transactional, where their own needs take priority over their partner’s. While people with NPD can be incredibly charming and magnetic, their relationships often suffer from jealousy, anger, and abuse. This can leave their partners feeling drained and exhausted. It’s important to remember that not all relationships with individuals with NPD are complex, and some can improve with treatment. When dealing with someone with NPD, it’s usually not helpful to confront them about their behaviors. Instead, it’s essential to focus on your well-being by setting boundaries and building a support system of friends, family, and professionals who can help you navigate the challenges of the relationship.
Some of Narcissist behavior during a relationship :
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Using derogatory terms or making insulting remarks towards you is known as name-calling.
- Condescending, public humiliation, looking down on you disrespectfully in a public setting, causing you to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
- Yelling, threatening, and speaking loudly and aggressively while intimidating others.
- Envy accusations.
- Constantly being blamed for everything.
- Monitoring your activities or attempting to separate you from others.
- Try to impose their emotions on you or tell you how you should feel.
- They are constantly projecting their faults onto you.
- Rejecting things that are clear to you or trying to gaslight you
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Undermines the significance of your ideas and requests, often leading to feelings of frustration, disrespect, and invalidation.
- Physically abusing or threatening.
Why do INFJs attract Narcissists?
INFJs tend to be attractive to narcissists for a few reasons:
- INFJs are known for their empathy and caring nature; they care too with their minds and their hearts, which can be appealing to narcissists who seek emotional support and validation.
- INFJs are supportive and purposeful, often striving to improve the world. This trait can be attractive to narcissists who are looking for someone very supportive to help them achieve their goals.
- INFJs can be trusting and naive, making them vulnerable to the manipulative tactics of narcissists who exploit the vulnerabilities of others.
- INFJ’s intentions to make the world a better place may make them take fixing narcissists as a challenge, which may cause them a lot of harm.
Some of the Damages that Narcissists could cause INFJs :
- Low self-esteem and self-worth. INFJs who narcissists have abused may develop low self-esteem and self-worth. They may start believing they are unlovable, worthless, and not good enough.
- Self-doubt and insecurity. INFJs who narcissists have abused may also develop self-doubt and insecurity. They may start to question their judgment and abilities.
- Anxiety and depression. Narcissistic abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in INFJs. They may feel constantly on edge and worried about what the narcissist will do next. They may also feel hopeless and despairing.
- Trust issues. INFJs who narcissists have abused may develop trust issues. They may find it difficult to trust others, even those who love and care about them.
- Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. Narcissistic abuse can make it difficult for INFJs to develop and maintain relationships. They may be afraid of being hurt again or have difficulty trusting others.
- Physical health problems. Narcissistic abuse can also lead to physical health problems in INFJs. They may experience chronic pain, headaches, stomachaches, and other physical problems.
How can INFJs protect themselves from being used by narcissists?
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to get what they want and can be compelling. However, there are steps that INFJs can take to protect themselves from being exploited by narcissists :
- Learn about narcissism. The more you know about narcissism, the better prepared you will be to spot the signs of a narcissist.
- Set boundaries. It is essential to set clear and firm boundaries with narcissists. This means letting them know what you are and are unwilling to do. It also means being assertive and standing up for yourself.
- Don’t take their criticism personally. Narcissists are often critical of others and blame others for their problems. It is important to remember that their criticism is not a reflection of you.
- Don’t try to change them. It is impossible to change a narcissist. If you are trying to fix them, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.
- Walk away (Doorslam). If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is walk away. It may be difficult, but it is the only way to protect yourself from their abuse.