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Why is it hard for INFJ to say no?
INFJs hate hearing No in the first place.
INFJs genuinely care about others and want to maintain harmonious relationships. However, their sensitivity can sometimes make it difficult for them to hear the word “no” from others. They take it to heart and may feel hurt or rejected.
Before making a request, INFJs tend to reflect on the situation for a while, considering all the angles and evaluating how the other person might react. They want to ensure that their request is reasonable and that the other person feels open to hearing them out. This sensitivity and thoughtfulness are what make INFJs such great friends and confidantes.
However, this same sensitivity may make it hard for INFJs to say “no” to others. They may feel guilty or uncomfortable declining requests, even if they don’t have the time or energy to fulfill them.
Here are some examples of saying No in a manner that will fit INFJs:
1. Short and simple answer: You don’t need to give a long or harsh explanation when refusing someone. Instead, keep your response brief, friendly, and to the point. A long answer could make the person persistent. Try “Sorry, I’m busy that day” or “I’d love to help, but I can’t right now.”
2. Body language When it comes to saying no, your body language can be just as important as your words. To assert yourself and get your message across, it’s essential to adopt an upright posture and avoid slouching. Maintaining eye contact, avoiding fidgeting, and refraining from bowing your head can help you come across as confident and assertive rather than nervous or submissive.
3. Stay firm. Some people may not accept “no” as an answer. If the person persists, it’s essential to be firm and reiterate your refusal. Remember, you’re not obligated to help and are not wrong for saying “no.” You could say, “I appreciate your offer, but I’m not interested,” or “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that.”
4. Explain politely: Saying “no” doesn’t mean rejecting the other person. Instead, explain politely that you need more time or energy to meet their request. Depending on the situation, you could offer to help later or suggest another time to get together. For example, you could say, “I’d love to have lunch, but I’m busy. Could we plan for another day?”
5. offer an alternative solution. When someone asks for your help but you can’t agree to their request, don’t just say “no.” Instead, consider proposing an alternative solution. Most problems have multiple solutions, after all. For instance, let’s say your friend wants to attend a formal dinner party, but they don’t have suitable clothes and ask to borrow one of your outfits. You don’t feel comfortable lending your clothes to someone who doesn’t take care of their belongings. In this case, you could suggest an alternative solution by saying, “I’d rather not lend anyone my clothes. However, we could pick something from a hire shop together. I know an awesome place just outside of town.”
6. Try to see the request in a positive light. Even if you can’t help, thank the person for thinking of you. For example, you could say, “Thanks so much for considering me, but I’m swamped now.”
7. Explain that you have other plans. Your time is valuable, too. Even if you can’t help, let the person know why. Having a reason can make it easier to say “no.” For example, you could say, “Sorry, I can’t help you. I already have plans that day.”
8. Explain the effects of saying yes: When someone asks you for a favor, it can be challenging to say “no” to them. However, if you explain how your “yes” would affect others, they may understand why you refuse their request. For instance, if your apartment is small, and your brother is studying for his exams in the living room, it would be hard for your friend to stay with you. So, you could explain to your friend that you cannot accommodate them because it would be difficult for your brother to focus on his studies with a guest staying over.
9. Choose your words. You can be firm while still being friendly. Use precise language that doesn’t leave any room for negotiation. Hopefully, the person will understand and move on to someone else. You could say, “Sorry, I can’t help you now. I will tell you when I can .”
10. Request more time: You don’t have to answer immediately. If you need more time to think about it, say so. It’s okay to avoid meeting the request if you need to. Just let the person know your decision within a few days.
11. Expressing gratitude towards someone is a polite and considerate way to decline their offer, which can help maintain a friendly conversation even if the other person feels disappointed. For instance, you could use phrases such as, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I am unable to,” “Thanks for asking me, but my schedule is packed,” or “It is so kind of you to invite me to your wedding, but I cannot make it,” or “Thank you for inviting me, but I have already committed to something else.”
12. Partial acceptance: In situations where you cannot fully agree to a request, it can be beneficial to offer a partial agreement instead of a complete refusal. This approach involves finding a compromise that meets some of the requester’s needs while staying true to your limitations or boundaries. Doing so can foster collaboration and understanding rather than creating conflict or tension. Additionally, offering a partial “yes” can help keep communication lines open and maintain positive relationships, which can be valuable in personal and professional contexts.
When you decline a request, being respectful and empathetic towards the other person is essential. You can explain your reasons for declining, offer alternative solutions, or express gratitude for being asked. By doing so, you’re showing that you respect and value the other person’s feelings while still prioritizing your needs. Remember, being assertive while saying “no” is crucial. It means standing your ground and being honest without letting the fear of disappointing someone make you feel obligated to say “yes.” Being real and genuine can create healthy boundaries and foster better relationships with the people around you.